Not passing judgment on anyone, just thinking it through. If you are a bit curious about what reasons I might have come up with, keep reading. For those of you who believe that saving sex for marriage may have some value, have you ever struggled to explain your choice to those who question you?
Here are some of my thoughts on the subject. I live without fear of getting a Sexually Transmitted Disease. Did you know that there are 30 different diseases you can get from your sexual partner? Diseases that lead to cancer, infertility when you are older, and just plain gross stuff you need to deal with for the REST of your life.
I have a high view of my body and I believe that what I choose to do with it matters. I believe God designed sex for marriage for a reason. He says that when people have sex they become one body and I only want to become one with one person.
He designed sex to be fun, but tells us to keep it within marriage because He knows that will protect us. Click here to read more of what God says about sex. I want my future marriage to succeed. Statistics show that those who save sex for marriage are more likely to succeed in marriage. It stands to reason that those who have always been sexually self-indulgent and have no practice in self-restraint will have a tougher time staying faithful.
So when a break-up occurs it is doubly painful. Any one of these 10 reasons might be a sufficient enough explanation for why you have chosen to wait, but altogether they seem to form a pretty convincing argument that there may be value in waiting.
Photo by Analise Benevides. I have just been cheated by my girlfriend n i am in a lot of pain n i feel that having sex with some other girl can help me overcome her! When speaking to Cosmopolitan , year-old Margaret said that although her husband was not a virgin when they met, she had made up her mind to wait for both "religious reasons" and because she'd "been raised to do so. Whether personally religious or because they come from a religious background, the majority of those who've decided to wait to have sex until marriage have some sort of religious affiliation.
Let's not assume that just because most people who abstain are religious that all people who wait are. Clementine, a year-old woman, said that, for her, it was more about her desire to wait for the right person. This meant she wasn't necessarily planning to wait all the way until her wedding day. One atheist by the name of Leo has completely taken the matter of religion out of the equation, and instead said he's waiting is to have a "better chance at a successful marriage" and to form a "healthy self image" — among other reasons.
Since most young men and women become sexually active at about 17 years old, according to Planned Parenthood , then the decision not to become sexually active would have to happen at a fairly young age as well. Popular YouTuber Milena Ciciotti said she personally made the decision to abstain from sex while still in middle school. She made the decision after attending a church concert that highlighted "staying pure" and "gave out purity rings," Ciciotti said. According to the Christian jewelry site Purity Rings Online , these rings serve as an outward symbol of a person's vow of abstinence, and are generally worn on the left ring finger, as would a wedding ring, until marriage.
Another YouTuber, Emily Wilson , also admitted that she made her decision to remain a virgin until marriage while she was still a teen. Some people who've waited until marriage to lose their virginity feel similar to Wilson in that it worked out well for them. One person posted the Whisper confession : "I waited until marriage, so did my husband. Wasn't a religious choice. And yes, it was totally worth it.
She went on to concede that some four years later, she and her husband have grown apart. If I could go back and change it, I would," she added. Still, many of those who have waited say the pros outweigh the cons. Yes, it was very hard.
Yes, it was worth it," another person admitted on Whisper. Not everyone who sets the intention of waiting to have sex until marriage makes it to the proverbial finish line.
And for those who don't, the regret can be very, very real. YouTuber Emily Wilson relayed the experience of one of her friends who succumbed to peer pressure from her college roommates and boyfriend.
When we are intimate, chemicals are released in our brains that bond us together. Vasopressin is primarily released in male brains and oxytocin primarily in females. However, when we bond then break, bond then break, we damage our capacity to bond strongly to the next person1. The first time you apply it to a surface, it bonds strongly. These effects are lessened but still consistent in those who became sexually active later in dating but prior to marriage.
Likewise, sex while dating can sometimes be thought of as an important way to test if a couple are compatible and whether the relationship can stand the test of time, another assumption that appears disproven by the data. In summary, the longer a dating couple waits to have sex, the better their relationship is after marriage. Another study3 found that rapid sexual involvement has adverse long-term implications for relationship quality.
So why is this? Why might sexual restraint be more beneficial for couples than premarital sex? The evidence appears to point to two reasons, intentional partner selection and sexual symbolism4. Proper partner selection becomes difficult when you receive the strong and immediate chemical see bonding above , emotional, and relational benefits of sexual intercourse.
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